What should I know about dating a Turkish man?
Turkish people are warm, friendly, romantic, and passionate. They want to show their love and appreciation for the important people in their lives and may do so with physical displays of affection. Keep in mind, however, that parts of Turkey are still very conservative.
The kind of sex, which they could “have” I have very rarely heard from a Turkish man about how “not so good” the sex he had was. So, if he can get it, he’ll find it good. Any sex is good sex for many many Turkish guys. If something is rare and doesn’t last long, you can never have enough of it, it’s just like that. That’s why they can’t have enough of it, much less finding it “not so good”
That doesn’t apply to only a minor group of Turkish guys. Occasional sex is usually for the privileged or remarkably handsome/rich/popular ones.
For the average guy, not so remarkable guys, it’s hunger games out there. Like one of the earlier years, which the arena was solid concrete brick stones, and with no proper shelter or any water source and food, remember that year?
What should I know about dating a Turkish man?
here is my experience of dating a Turkish man as a foreigner (I am Southeast Asian)
- He is a little bit controlling over you. Extremely jealous and always want to dominate you. When he says no you are not allowed to do that. It’s better you do not do that. You have to be super careful about this. He will show what he does not like to you (if he is serious about you), and if he shows it, you should take it seriously. For example, you are not allowed to talk to any guys, you should (honestly) limit all the ways to cut off all your unnecessary male relationships because it will make him think that you are trying to cheat on him.
- He will take care of you and make an effort for you a lot. This is the first type of man I date seriously think that: he has to give me complete pleasure, love, and attention. So he will always talk to you every day if you want. He promises never to speak to any girl then he proves it to you. He will buy things for you when you need them. He will do whatever you want because he thinks he has the responsibility to care for his lover.
- He is family oriented. For people who are in Western culture, it will be a little bit hard to understand but I don’t find it a problem. He call his family everyday. And so he expect you to do so. My boyfriend wants me to take care of my parents too. He used to say to me: “A person who does not give money to her parent is a bad girl. He hates those girls like that.” I could not disagree since I feel the same.
- He wants you to take a submissive role. It is not that you are a slave but he does not want a girl who tries to act like a man while she cannot. Be feminine, be soft, be a real woman then you can take all of his love.
- My boyfriend respects me and willing to listen to me. It is strange right? I did say that he is very controlling and acts like he is the right boss but in fact he is not. He says sorry to me when he hurts me. He listens to what I try to say and took time to accept. He does not force me to convert religion.
- He is financial savvy with many careful matured plan. He used to say to me to not spend much because I need to save it. He said he only thinks of marriage after he has job, he has enough money to take care of his wife. I found my boyfriend is similar to my culture in this way.
- He is loyal and very honest. Why I am sure? Because I had a long time to test him on fire. We discuss a lot about many things
- i don’t know if every Turkish men are like him or not. But my boyfriend like history, politics and turkey. He is very proud of his culture. He likes to discuss about politics. Quite patriotic and not easy accept other culture cuisine.
- He expects you to a good caretaker and he likes children. My boyfriend also encourages me to work as well. That is all good for me. You should be a good sympathetic listener too.
- when he loves he loves hard. He waits until you really love him. He is very spiritual about love. He is not the type of giving up. Devotion and commitment is what he is good at it.
- dont underestimate about him. He knows how to cook and do housechores. If you want him to help just ask nicely. Avoid boss him around. He is open to listen to you if you behave as a good girl then he is willing to make you happy, even you want him to change his personality.
this is my experience so far with my Turkish boyfriend. We also fighted a lot and not easy at the beginning since he acts very much macho, so it needs your patience and calm and love.
A Turkish man may be strict and stop you being free. But there are reasons for him doing so. For example: my bf got mad at me when I stayed at my girl friend’s house at night and I did not tell him.
The reason was because he thought girls should not go out late or else she will have danger such as rape and accidents.
It is reasonable. My parents also did not want me to stay outside late like that too.
So you should think of your safety first… and follow him for your own good. Sometimes we do what we don’t consider the consequence because we overlook the situation. If a Turkish man wants you to do what he wants, it is for some reasons. You should ask him.
If he does not love you he ignore you for a long time already. Because he really loves you he will care for you… sometimes overprotective like he is your mother not boyfriend but for me it is a good point.
Why do people always warn me about the dangers of dating a Turkish man? Why is it so bad to date them?
I am a Turkish American man. I was born and raised in the United States during a time when Turkish people were few and far between. I grew up in Queens, one of the most ethnically diverse communities in the world.
As such, I have dated Jewish girls, Irish girls, Greek girls, Black girls, Hispanic girls, German girls, Italian girls, you name it. Granted I was only serious with a few.
One of the girls I was serious with was a Jewish girl from Brooklyn. Neither of us were observant in any way, and neither were our parents. But as soon as we started dating, holy cow, did her parents become Super-Jewish! All of a sudden, they were super religious. They went as far as to suggest to her that I was only pretending to care for her so that I could eventually kill her. As absurd as this sounds, she actually conveyed this very serious concern to me. We had other issues as well, so things didn’t work out.
I once had an Irish-American girl’s parents ask me if I was a communist, you know, since I was Turkish. I feel like I’m still staring at her father when I remember this. I don’t think I ever brought myself to answer him.
I had an Hispanic girl’s family accuse me of destroying Rome. If only I were that powerful.
Countless girls shared with me their friends’ and family’s concerns that I might beat her, keep her locked up somehow, or otherwise take away her freedom. Usually, they told me these things humorously. They were laughing at their ignorance. But, many times it actually hurt. It hurt me, and they couldn’t always appreciate that.
What should I know about dating a Turkish man?
Ironically, the families I usually had the best relationships with were Greek families. I once had a Greek mom ask me to marry her daughter because she didn’t like the Italian guy she was dating. That was initially shocking to me. But, my Greek male friends didn’t find it strange. They explained that the similarity in culture and family values would naturally make a Turkish man more desirable. And, yeah, I could see it then. But, the irony was still very heavy for me. A moment later, I asked this Greek friend if I could date his sister, and he punched me square in the chest with all his might.
I eventually married a girl from Queens. Her father is a German Jew, and her mother is (was) Irish Catholic. My father was of Central Asian Kirghiz descent, and my mother was Crimean. Our dinner table is the mini United Nations, and we LOVE IT! I wouldn’t have it any other way. My children are enlightened, familiar with many different cultures, have absolutely no detectable predisposition to judging people based on ethnicity or race, and are respectful of ALL people.
I will even occasionally let my wife out of the house to get some air. You know….birthdays, Mother’s Day, that sort of thing. If you are not familiar with sarcasm, stop reading right now and just move on immediately! I can’t be bothered with you.
What should I know about dating a Turkish man?
My wife and I love each other very much. In particular, she and my children are so thankful for my very large, extended Turkish American family. My teenage children actually complain that they don’t get to spend enough time with them. Imagine that. Teenagers who want to spend time with family. My wife is not the only non-Turk in our family, but she is particularly loved by all of them. Her family attends my family’s religious events, and my family members as well have attended her family’s religious events.
When people get to know each other, they learn to respect each other. There’s much more in common than there is in difference. But, that is not evident to people who are ignorant or inexperienced.
The people telling you this are ignorant and inexperienced people. You should leave them to remain ignorant. Do not let them pull you down into their well of hatred and bigotry. The world is a wondrous place, full of different people and cultures, but humanity is one. You feel more alive when you can get over people’s differences and learn to just appreciate one another.
How do you know if a Turkish man is serious in a relationship?
How do you know if ANY man is serious in a relationship?
I’ll give you a little insight into how men work:
No man is interested in marriage, until he is interested in marriage. This has nothing to do with the girl. It hardly has anything to do with how much he loves her. I hate having to put it like this, but it is a “guy thing”.
We are out staking our claim. We are experiencing life. We are learning from our experiences. We are changing constantly in terms of what we want in life, including a wife. Yes, some guys will get married young. But those of us who want to wait it out are actually smarter. Pay attention to these guys.
I met my wife when I was 17. We dated once or twice, then didn’t see each other for years. I found her number and called her. We dated a few more times. I was still in my 20’s, and out living my life. “Sowing my wild oats” as the saying goes. Over time, I started to realize that I always enjoyed her company, and looked forward to seeing her. We kept dating. We met each other’s families. She asked if I was interested in marriage.
We broke up! You see, I simply was NOT ready to be married. It had nothing to do with her. I had told her I loved her. I came to this realization, when I also realized that she was my best friend. That day when I realized that I would rather be with her than anyone else I knew in this world. But I did not want to be married. I was clear, and I was honest.
Some time later, she called me again. She told me she understood, and that she was committed to me, and she would wait. We started dating again. We were very happy, even though we were not married. We were each very close with each other’s families. It just wasn’t official.
One morning, I woke up and sat on the edge of my bed. I was alone in my apartment. I thought to myself – “I wish she were here……….I wish we could have breakfast together……..I wish I could come home to her after work”. That day, on my lunch break, I went diamond shopping.
That’s how it works for men.
We have been married for over 20 years and have 2 children together. Sometimes we argue. But, we have never wanted to be without each other. When we announced our engagement, the running joke was “Kagan and Cathy are finally getting married?…….To whom?”
If you marry a man who has not reached this point in life, the point where he feels he has experienced enough, the point where he is absolutely certain there isn’t something better for him out there, your marriage could be risky.
I have found that some people are simply in love with love. The idea of being married. Some women just want to start a family. Some men want a “trophy” wife. These marriages do not last. Not because they don’t love each other. But, because that tiny little voice that says “what if” is always there. Yes, sometimes people are just not meant to be together. They got married before they could figure this out. They overlook these things because they were “serious”. They forced themselves to overlook fatal flaws in their relationship.
To reiterate, I was in love with the woman I eventually married for many years. But it wasn’t until that morning when I felt she was missing, and that she needed to be there, or I wasn’t whole, that I was ready to be married. It had nothing to do with how I felt about her. I just wasn’t ready until that moment.
We have 2 boys now. They are getting older. She tells them about how long I waited before proposing. She also tells them that our marriage is stronger for it. They see that we are not just married husband and wife, and lovers…..but that we are friends above all else. We laugh constantly. We poke fun at each other. We banter like siblings. We trust each other explicitly. And, we are HAPPY and still in love.
To bring this back to your question – I am a Turkish man. But, first, I am a man. All men are wired the same. We are only ready, when we are ready. If you force it, you will regret it.
What kind of woman do Turkish men like most?
I like a woman who has a personality. I like a woman who is well-educated, feminine, and cuddly. An intelligent, cute, approachable girl who shares my personality traits and political views is wife material for me.
If she’s a Muslim, she has to be very liberal though I prefer non-Muslims.
I don’t like it when women use too much make-up, act dumb on purpose (I cringe to death), talk in a loud and obnoxious manner, expect me to do literally everything in the relationship, demand way too much attention, don’t respect my boundaries, personal space, friends and hobbies etc.
What do Turkish men not like?
Of course, there’s no way to make a generalization. But then again, generalizations are made for a reason. So here you go, your average Turkish guy does not like;
- Strong independent women (don’t mind what they’re saying. They’ll talk the talk but rarely walk the walk when it comes to gender equality)
- LGBTIQ+ (gay people are at best tolerated and superficially defended (as long as they don’t make any public displays of affection with their SOs and they shouldn’t act in a way that’s too marginal for the society), lesbians are either fantasy or comical “buth” characters. Only women can be bisexual, and men who are bisexual are considered gay. Trans people are feared/despised/sexualized and frequently terrorized)
- Vegetarians/Vegans (they’re to be mocked at and all they need is a good plate of Kebab to come to their senses)
- People and ideas that challenge the powerhouses of Turkish culture like;
- The State (even the most leftist guy loses his shit when it’s about “the state” (mind you, not the ruling party). Throw in a couple of symbols like the flag, martyrdom, Kurds getting basic human rights (*gasp*) or Ataturk and you have yourself a creature with alarmingly far-right tendencies) [originally I wrote “the government” but it was not the right word, so I changed it with “the state”]
- Family (strong family bonds is a good thing. But the Turkish family structure has long been a parasitic organism)
- People who support football teams other than their own (you’ll be surprised how fast even the most intellectual guy turns into a brainless hooligan when it’s derby day)
How do Turkish men treat their women?
I have been married to a Turkish man from Istanbul European Side for 20 years and only had great experiences, yes he’s done the whole thing of not allowed to be friends with his friends on social media etc or be friendly with them etc and I have always respected him and followed his wishes.
Everything changed up until I had our son nearly 9 year ago, when the control started to really hit in.. and the older we are getting the more I’m not allowed an opinion, I’m not allowed to be tired so my days of been a mum where amazing on one side but horrendous in my relationship as we started to drift apart as I was still getting to focus on being a new mum and caring for our baby… this resulted in whenever I didn’t listen because I was exhausted to end up in an argument and his aggression shown through… and then it was when he started to lift his hands… but I would always defend him and think it was my fault but 9 years of on off violence and I can see the picture clearly now.
He has absolutely no respect for me at all, and there was many times when he could of controlled the situation but didn’t and always wanted to push me more and more… but on the other side when we were not arguing he was great very respectful at times, thankful for turkish food on the table… that is my personal experience so depends on there personality I guess…
Do you think Turkish men prefer European girls or Turkish girls?
I’m an Azerbaijani Turk, so I’m qualified to answer as a Turkic person. As you may know already Azerbaijani people are Turkic.
I consider people of Turkey as of my family. We are actually the same people, we speak the same language, we eat the same food, we share the same culture and religion. We are descended from Oghuz Turks who migrated to Anatolia and Azerbaijan region.
Anyways, I prefer Turkish girls 10000 times over European countries. Turkish women is full of confidence and femininity.
They like to live their life the way the have planned for it. Things have to play out in their framework. Most of them are very beautiful, passionate, educated, smart and talkative.
Look at her, she is truly a living goddess.
The women of Turkey are stunningly beautiful.
Do Turkish girls love Arab men?
All countries have a different stereotypes about different cultures, religions, nationalities, countries and etc. And of course, Turkey is not exception, and what at all can make her exception? And let’s be honest – most of Turkish girls, generally don’t have a positive stereotypes about Arabs, but it is not because all Turkish girls, have seen all Arabic men, let me explain that situation …
It is really rare to call someone “Egyptian” or “Morrocan” for example, we always say “Arabs”. Everything starts from here – we hear bad things about Saudi Arabia, and even I – really calm person with patience – unfortunately didn’t had very good experience with Saudis, in general. But see – for example North Africa is different story. One of the most funny, cool and nice people I have ever met where from this region.
Plus, I had friends with Arabic boyfriends (Palestinian, Iraqi, Lebanese & etc.) and honestly all of them told me good things about them. On the other hand, I know a woman, married to man from Saudi Arabia and she doesn’t tell me good things about him. But you known, all people are different. Just because one Saudi man is bad it doesn’’ mean that all of them 100% are bad. 🙂
Are Turkish men controlling in relationships?
YEEESSSS. my boyfriend is a Turkish and he is very much in control of my life, especially when we first met and that was 3 years ago. I am used to living in a metropolitan city with a variety of freedoms but since dating him everything is forbidden. At first I was angry, but when I got angry he got angry. from there I began to learn to understand him.
The Turkish man is possessive, dominant, jealous and I admit that, but they do it solely to protect their partners. I need to understand a lot between my culture and him, however I really love him hehehehee …
Why are Turkish men beautiful?
I don’t really think the Turkish men are more beautiful than the rest of the world. The only thing I can agree is that the Turkish men seem to convey a masculine image at first sight due to their physical features (such as body hair, beard/mustache etc.). As everyone else says, it is totally subjective and can never be generalized.
Still, just to remind, I would immediately think that Turkey has been under different migration routes and many different peoples have come to the geographic proximity within Turkey. Greek, Celtics, Romans, Arabs, Persians, Turks, Slavs, Armenians, Kurds, Assyrians and many more came together in these lands which eventually created a physical authenticity. Generally, when different genes mix into one, they create their own identical beauty. This is all I can theorize.
Do Turkish men in general prefer women from Europe or Turkish women?
There is no answer to this question. Both sides have positives and negatives.
Plus for Turkish women:
They speak your language fluently; Their mother most probably cooks just like yours and taught them how to cook as well; They know the men’s expectations
Plus for European women:
Their physical looks are out of the ordinary for Turkiye (arm candy factor); They speak one or more foreign languages fluently(additional arm candy factor); They have seen a lot more places than Turkish women(more worldly, exciting, not domesticated); Are believed (rightly or wrongly, I will not comment) to be more fun in bed; Most importantly, since Turkish men are going to put them on a pedestal, they will show affection for him, as this is something new for European women.
Minus for Turkish women:
They are hot blooded and ready to spark at smallest of issues; They tend to settle in a relatively short time and go with the ebb and flow (boring factor); if and when they give birth, most women put children ahead of their husbands, and neglect them.
Minus for European women:
Unless the man is fluent in her language, there definitely is a language barrier; Their cooking (if any) is unfamiliar and probably weird tasting; When they go outside, she gets a lot of attention from other men, causing fights; last but not the least, when the novelty factor wears off, they see Turkish men possessive and controlling.
These are my observations and thing. I heard from people I know through different channels. I am not saying all of them are true or false. In a subject like this, a lot of things are extremely relative to one’s point of view.
How common is cheating in Turkish society?
it is a deep topic coz it is caused by many things but mainly the culture and the mindset of the person man or woman.
my father did it always coz he never loved my mom(even when got married) and my mom never divorced him. so men like him think it is fine and kinda their right to have an affair.
I have met people like that, never understand why they cheat instead of just leaving the person but each case is kinda different (psychologically) and sometimes they just do it as a reflection of sexual desires, for fun, money, anger, hate etc.
what women and men understand/expect from marriage/relationship is different. they realize after they get married. so it is also about ignorance too…
What should I know about dating a Turkish man?